Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
