So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
