I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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