Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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