i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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