somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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