At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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