i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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