clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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