Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
