He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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