I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize