do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
