Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
