i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize