My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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