is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
