What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
