I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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