So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
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