I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
