I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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