im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
