I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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