I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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