ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
