So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
