I'm pants shitting drunk right now
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can I color on your dick again?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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