dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Randomize
