I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
