The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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