Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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