We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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