No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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