They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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