i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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