hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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