You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
