He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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