Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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