Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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