So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
