Will you blow on my dice?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
