I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
