I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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