We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
