Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
