Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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