Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize