ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize