how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize