i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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