I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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