This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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