i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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