i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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