So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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