His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
