Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
